Give thanks.

I've been reading a book my mom gave to me called "one thousand gifts". I'm not too far into but the premise of the book seems to be thankfulness, giving thanks. I am struck by the chapter on rushing. I don't understand why I rush through everything. Rushing Liam to brush his teeth, rushing away from my children to to the computer, rushing to quickly "watch this mommy" and then look away, rushing to nurse Isla to sleep and do something else with my time, rushing till B gets home, hurrying Isla to grow up and stop being so dependent on me, rushing till we have a house and are more settled, rushing till bed time, hurrying to get dinner done and cooked, rushing through Trader Joes, rushing home from preschool, rushing conversations with B. It's exhausting.

I'm saddened by my lack of giving thanks in the moment. My lack of enjoying my kids right where they are, seeing their beauty. Saddened by the moments I have hurried through and missed moments I shouldn't have. I want to give thanks in each moment, to see beauty, to stop and enjoy. To slow down. Not rush, not hurry. I feel like I'm teaching Liam to rush through life, to not stop and love right there. Although he is much better than I at this practice. I think children are like that. They're slower.

I'm going to practice giving thanks for these beautiful moments. Will you join me?

Liam has been so challenging lately. Kids seem to go in spurts or seasons. Behaviors peek and then die down. The ebb and flow. There are weeks when he is lovely and chatty and happy and then there are times when he is whiny, angry and grumpy and spends far too much time in his room crying. But aren't we all like that? I want to be more patient with him, to love him better. To enjoy this little person. He sure is a complex 4 year old, but that's just why I love him so.

Look for beauty, it's everywhere.
xx