Little One

Little Whiles - Day 4

2012-02-17T14:38:00.000-05:00

Here's real life for you. Isla crying to get out of her chair. Once she's done eating, she wants free.

Little Whiles Day 3

2012-02-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

This one is just crazy and happy and strange. Its totally him.

I love it.

Little Whiles - Day 2

2012-02-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

I try and take them out every afternoon after Isla has a nap, at least for a little bit. By about 3:00 I am a bit stir crazy and so are they, going out keeps us sane. Here's the lady crusin' the sidewalks. She loves seeing the neighbors and pushing her car around.

Real Life Mondays

2012-02-14T15:20:00.002-05:00

Maybe I should I should start a theme? Monday just seems to hit me and I realize I took the weekend for granted.

This Monday started very cold with a dead car battery and both kids buckled in to the seats ready for school. Later in the day, Isla had a very short nap and Liam played far too much Wii. Dinner was an appetizing uncooked rice (because my stove likes to turn off secretly while on low. So while I'm chopping broccoli and thinking my rice will finally be "just perfect", but the stove is not even on - I have issues with rice, despite it being quite an easy thing to cook). And as the kids were refusing the rice I was attempting to make them eggs and dropped one on the floor which cracked and raw egg began dripping under my refrigerator. Sigh. Bedtime has arrived and I'd love to decorate the house up and be all festive for Valentines like this sweet gal, but it's not happening. I wish I was more creative, but lately the creativity has been lacking. More on this later.....

I've been thinking a lot about realness and being authentic. I love it when I see it in people, but wonder if I'm an authentic person. Is how I talk, live, parent and even blog real? It's so easy to make your life look perfect and sparkly through the lens of a blog (cake pops in any post help too :)), but is it anywhere near true to my life? Is my blogging helpful to anyone? Don't get me wrong I love dreamy, perfect pictures with happy smiling children and glowing light in the background, but I don't want you to think that is what my days look like. I have many days where I feel like I'm drowning in whining, dust, being angry instead of loving, piles of laundry, unfinished just about anything. I'm constantly tidying in my very tiny house, that is seemingly always messy. Seriously, I am often telling B I just tidied this, really I did...although it looks like a bomb hit when he gets home.

Well, I want to be open. I want you to know me. I want you to know that I struggle, I get grumpy, I get angry instead of loving my kids and being a stay at home for me is hard. I'm not a homebody. My car is often a mess. I forget to move the laundry to the dryer and it smells like mold. I hate cleaning the tub and ironing.
But, I love my kids. I love them like crazy. More than I could have ever imagined.
I adore my little family. I would never have my life any other way. They are what I breathe. They're worth it.

So, starting today. I'm going to post a "real" photo a day. My title of this little project is going be "The Little While's", inspired by the lovely Sheye for a project she did. My plan is to do this till the end of March. I'm in a bit of a photo rut and this is my idea to get thinking a bit more creatively and hopefully inspire you and myself too.

"The Little While's - Day 1"

Nighttime

2012-02-06T21:17:00.000-05:00

Our little dolly has been night weaned. I know I mentioned thinking of doing it a while back. Well, I chickened out the first night we were going to try, but after being woken countless times that night and living in a fog all day, I thought it was time. The first 3 or 4 nights were somewhat torturous, but I was committed and so was B. The first night B rocked her, then the next nights he just went in and told her he loved her and to lie down. She of course protested loudly like my babies do :) The girl has had unrestricted access to nurse for over a year, she should protest!(I know some of you are dying reading that I have nursed her for over a year through the night, but its what worked for us and how I got her to gain weight. I hate letting babies cry too, its just not me.) I really did feel like it was time to do this and she was old enough to understand a bit. She also eats about 4 times as much as Liam, so I don't think she needs to nurse for nutritional reasons any more. The first week or so I really missed her warm snugly body nestled all up to me, but I'm feeling like this is good for our family. She still isn't sleeping through and wakes depending on the night, but B is the best and keeps going back to settle which isn't taking very long any more.

I don't have a lot of photos right now because my computer hard drive is full and I need to move some stuff over in order to upload some more right now.

We spent a night at Great Wolf Lodge this past weekend with B's parents and a cousin. Liam had such a fun time and we're all feeling a little exhausted. Goodnight :)

After all this sleep talk, I'll leave you with this. Night.

One for the wall

2012-01-25T14:56:00.000-05:00

I think this one is going up on the wall. I don't have any recent photos of the two of them together, and this is perfect.

I must start taking photos with my real camera again. I got an iphone and now just use the instagram app all the time. Its always with me too so it seems easier. I'm going to try and post some of those up here too.

I'm off to play some wii with the little man!

2012-01-13T13:31:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure how almost 2 months has gone by and I haven't blogged. I'm sorry. I would love to blog a few times a week, but just don't know how I could. I also doubt I'd have enough interesting things to say.

Well, instead of trying to create the most perfect post, I'll just post what I've got and let you know what's on my mind today. I love these photos and I hope they inspire you or move you in some way. These are some of my most favorite photos of my kids. I'm going to print some of them.

Our vacation was wonderful and I'd like to go back thank you very much! :) Reality has set in and already I feel overwhelmed with the demands of children, home and some big upcoming decisions about where we live and how it will all look.

We're also contemplating stopping Isla from nursing through the night. She's 14 months and the lack of sleep is finally getting to me. Has anyone ever done this? Our plan is to let B take over and tell her she can't nurse till its morning. I KNOW we will have one angry baby, but I think long term it will be good for all os us. A grumpy and tired mommy/wife isn't helpful to anyone. But quite honestly, I'm terrified and sometimes I enjoy her warm little body snuggled up next to mine.

Thanks for reading this way overdue blog post :)
Lots of love....

2011-11-28T20:30:00.000-05:00

I asked him what he wanted for Christmas tonight and he says..."Ummm....another Isla??"
Not yet honey :)

Tidbits

2011-11-21T21:04:00.000-05:00

A very pink party for our little tiny girl!

My parents came, my brother was here on business - perfect timing! We had friends, very yummy Thai food made by a very sweet friend, and lots of pink.

I'm so very tired tonight. We have had a long week with a sick baby finished off with a very bad ankle sprain for our little man that put us in the ER Saturday afternoon! But, I wanted to blog the little things about the day so that one day I will remember what it all looked like. It was perfect. The only thing missing was the rest of our family. It's always sad on birthdays like these to live far away.

Enjoy the photos. I'm off to sip hot chocolate and cuddle on the couch with some House Hunters.

My Mom and I made cake pops. I had always wanted to try and so we did. They were so yummy and so pretty!

1 year

2011-11-12T09:00:00.019-05:00

What we've learned about Isla in the past year:

She loves food.

She laughs easily.

She loves her Mama.

She never sits still.

She loves babies.

She has pretty eyes.

She adores her Daddy and Liam.

She doesn't sleep much.

She's highly skilled with her jack in the box.

She loves music.

She loves to splash in the toilet.

She doesn't cry much.

She prefers to stand in the bath.

She loves to play outside.

She enjoys roaring.

She likes to sleep next to her Mama.

She loves her brother and he loves her.

What we didn't know is that our love would expand. I'm not sure how we ever did life without Isla. She is the best little addition to our family. She has brought us more joy than we could have ever imagined.
I love having 2 kids.
Happy 1st birthday baby girl. We love you more than we ever thought possible. Now lets party!
xo

Thankful it's Monday!!

2011-10-24T10:41:00.000-04:00

Well that was one of the longest weekends of my life. B was away Thursday to Sunday. And Wednesday Isla came down with some nasty virus. Thursday night at 2:00 am she woke vomiting and with a fever of 104.2. I couldn't keep the tylenol in her to lower her fever. It was so scary and I felt so alone. I sat on my couch holding what felt like the hottest baby ever and praying. Calling out to the Lord to be near and to heal this little babe. By Saturday she was close to normal again.

She was feeling so well in fact that she took her first steps!! :)

These punching things which were bought for Liam's birthday party from 5 below have provided hours of entertainment. Even Isla knows how to punch!

He takes it down!

Well I'm off to enjoy the fact that my husband is back and life has resumed some sort of normalcy.

Stuff

2011-10-13T22:12:00.001-04:00

Kneeling:
I love that she sits like this. It's probably bad for her for some reason, but it's so darn cute.

Black and White window pictures:

I like that they are moody and shadowy and soft. I like the blur. I like her, even though she wakes me every night multiple times. Its amazing, if B woke me that many times, I don't think I'd wake to him with a smile.

The funny face:

It will never get old. Looks particularly lovely with a runny nose, don't you think?

Warm nights:
Oh how I love a warm night. These days of playing in the grass and swinging till the sun sets are leaving. I'm sad, for I am a true summer gal. I'd like to live in Florida or California, I swear I wouldn't miss the lack of season change. I know some people say I would, but they don't know me. I love warmth. I hate snow. Although, I do love pumpkin bread and muffins. Every year around this time. it hits me, I get a serious craving for pumpkin flavors and I convince Liam to make them with me with a promise of batter licking. But they sell canned pumpkin at Target in Florida right?

Superhero birthday parties:
They are fun, but you should plan for children crying. Especially when you have surprise villains on the premises with water guns and red and green hair taunting them the partygoers at every other station. Can you pick the criers our from this one?

Birthday boys:
Are cute. 5 candles is too many. Grandma's who help plan the superhero parties sure do come in handy :) As do friend's moms who take care of the crying children who you've scared.

Isla's hat

Really? How did she get this cute? She loves crusin around her little car, getting in and out, in and out. Opening and shutting. Pointing.

As much as I love the hat, it's just a sign that fall is here and winter is coming. I guess I might miss hats if I live in Florida? I'd miss them on Isla.

Daddy loving on his girl

Can't you just see the love? Isla is trying to escape or point elsewhere, of course, which is typical Isla. She's a busy little gal, always moving and turning in your arms. But she loves her dada and, well it's obvious how he feels.

Superman
Good night superman.

The best smile ever. Pure joy.

The Amber necklace:
Unsure if it works, but worth trying. Plus, its pretty darn cute and a sweet friend made it for her.

Peek!
Guess who climbed up the slide yesterday? Sister knows how to get up all by her self and then slide back down on her tummy. Good thing she isn't sleeping in her crib or she'd be jumping out already.

And now it's getting late, and I'm getting tired.
Good night to you and you and you.
xo

Five

2011-10-02T15:07:00.000-04:00

Bright

A thinker

Athletic

Fun

Sweet

Tough

Kind

Cookie Dough Lover

A good friend

Snugly

Good bike/scooter rider

Cool hair

Lover of superheroes

The 4 year old that the 12 year olds come ask to play with them

Loud

Funny

The best big brother

A gift to us

Happy Birthday Little Love. You are treasured.

I ate some raw chicken juice....

2011-09-22T21:53:00.000-04:00

I asked Liam tonight how long he was going to kiss me on the lips, he asked me "Does Daddy still kiss you on the lips?" I said "Yes". Then he thought for a while and said "I'll probably kiss you on the lips till I'm an old man, like Great Grandpa."

I sure didn't win any awards for being mother of the year today. On my list of achievements: the house is messy, Isla's clothes have been sitting in a laundry basket for too long to count, I can't remember the last time I cleaned our bath tub, I lost my temper with Liam this afternoon and cried afterwards, but I did bake muffins!

I read this quote about being a mom and fitting everything in on another blog tonight and it resonated with me:

"We will continue to search the Internet for quick meals, read articles on how to get our kids out the door, buy calendars that promise to help us sort out our lives because that's what we do. We'll be inspired by women who look like they dabble in a great many things, and we'll compare ourselves and forget that their lives are different and there are some areas in which they too feel like they're failing. We will feel guilty and cry some nights that we just can't do it all. And we are right."

Being a mom, a parent is so messy. It brings out the darkness in us that we never really saw before, or if we did see it, we didn't allow it to be seen or known by many others. But now we have these little people watching who are pushing us to the max and what's inside our hearts gets revealed. Sleeplessnes, lack of showering, chaos, loudness, needing a coffee but not getting one, far too much whining, dynamics between kids and moms, children's music, being constantly touched or leaned on or stepped on, and the abnormal amounts of energy my children both have all push me to a point that is tough, really tough.... But in the end, I love my kids. I try to prioritize them because they are all that matters. When I'm old, my clean house, or personal hygiene isn't going to matter. How I treated them, lead them and nurtured them is going to matter. How I spent my days matter. How I speak matters. I'm not saying I always do this, but I want to. I'm inspired by this quote.

"So while your children are little, cultivate an attitude of sacrifice. Sacrifice your peace for their fun, your clean kitchen floor for their help cracking eggs, your quiet moment for their long retelling of a dream that a friend of theirs alledgedy had. Proritize your children far and away above the other work you need to get done. They are the only part of your work that really matters."

Isla has been doing this ridiculous face for a while now. We call it "funny face" and when we want her to do it, we'll say "do your funny face!" and she'll usually do it on cue. Little sister is crawling at high speeds, climbing, can stand on her own for a few seconds, pointing at things, roaring at pictures of lions, shaking her head no and even says "mama". The other night I left to drop drop something at the neighbors house and she pointed out the door and said "mama". :)

When she doesn't like the feel of something on her knees while crawling, she's crawls like this on her toes. Girl knows what she wants.

And to clarify my subject. My day ended in chicken juice in my mouth. I came out the back door, tripped over Liam's scooter, fell and grabbed the bowl of chicken that was marinating and ready to go on the bar b q which splattered into my mouth. The bowl broke.

At least I got a shower out of it.

Finally....

2011-09-08T21:13:00.002-04:00

I'm back! I've been meaning to blog for days, but babies wake when they're supposed to be sleeping and important conversations about birthday parties need to happen as do conversations about the intricacies of dealing with 4 year old behavior. We've also been a bit addicted to watching a series on TV so blogging has fallen off my radar. So, B is out tonight and the house is quiet and I've finally sat down at my computer. The only problem is my mind seems blank, so I'll just share some photos for now.

A Crazy Month

2011-08-05T14:57:00.000-04:00

We've been so busy this month with visitors, me taking an online course, and a busy crawling baby. She stood up in the shopping cart at Target yesterday, she somehow wiggled out of the buckle and turned and pulled herself up. She is much wigglier than Liam ever was.

Just some glimpses into our life....

(These are edited different ways, different colours and tones. I learned a ton in my course and am trying out new stuff. Let me know what you like and don't like.)

Rainy afternoon crafts. Liam is quite the artist, really the kid can draw!
I didn't set this shot up, I promise. But I love it, it's so much my life. Laundry in the background that never makes it to the drawers, coffee to keep me awake, strawberries with sugar for Liam.

Sister is loving standing.

B's been working two nights a week which means I'm on all day and night.. Ah....nothing like two sleeping babes in my bed at the end of a long day.

Happy weekend!! xx

What I've learned

2011-07-12T11:00:00.001-04:00

Some stuff I've been learning as a parent:

I really don't know much.

Kids change constantly. Stages don't last.

Pray lots wherever you are.

Sleep when you can.

Don't yell. It doesn't help.

I didn't need as much sleep as I once thought.

Do what works.

Babies are people. They are all different.

Hug and kiss them all the time.

Read.

You need some good mom friends.

Try not to compare.

You don't own your kids bad behavior or their good. (I know this in my head but I still blame myself all the time for their behavior)

Smores on the bar b q after dinner courtesy of Daddy. They were yummy!

She didn't get any yet though.

Nobody can get her to smile like Liam can.

She's really begun to enjoy eating with us. I've been reading a book called "Baby Led Weaning" which encourages eating the same foods as the family without mushing and spoon feeding. It's been working out so well. She loves food and its intriguing to watch her eat and figure out how to hold, chew and swallow food. I don't have to spend time make baby food like I did for Liam and she enjoys feeding herself.

She's crazy busy, never stops moving and just a funny little person. Lots of personality in a small body. She gave me a kiss yesterday when I asked, she's growing so fast.

A New Friend

2011-06-20T20:27:00.000-04:00

We had the pleasure of looking after sweet little Molly unexpectedly last Saturday and so I snuck some photos!! Isn't she sweet?? I think Isla likes her :).

Trying to have a taste of a new friend!

Look Who's Sitting?

2011-06-16T21:49:00.001-04:00

That's right, sister is upright and she's lovin the new perspective! She's also army crawling all over the place, a busy little bee she is. I love watching her learn to move, Liam never crawled normally. He was a scooter (which you can see here ) and so I've never seen a baby like being on their tummy and progress to actually moving around!

I also can barely get a drink with this girl around. She's in love with my water bottle.

And this rockstar has learned how to ride with two wheels. The training wheels are off. He learned in about a day!

He loves her and is so good with her. I love hearing him talk to her in the other room. He loves people more than anything else I think. He's so happy to have a sister.

Swingin'

2011-06-11T19:08:00.002-04:00

She likes her swing. I like her. She's 7 months tomorrow, how is that possible? Just thought I'd let ya'll know that she didn't need a harness. We saw the specialist and he didn't think it was necessary! Relief!! We'll go back to see him in September and have her looked at again, but he seemed very positive.

Bedtime is calling for the littles. And I'm just about done too.

Could she be any cuter?

Give thanks.

2011-06-04T11:19:00.001-04:00

I've been reading a book my mom gave to me called "one thousand gifts". I'm not too far into but the premise of the book seems to be thankfulness, giving thanks. I am struck by the chapter on rushing. I don't understand why I rush through everything. Rushing Liam to brush his teeth, rushing away from my children to to the computer, rushing to quickly "watch this mommy" and then look away, rushing to nurse Isla to sleep and do something else with my time, rushing till B gets home, hurrying Isla to grow up and stop being so dependent on me, rushing till we have a house and are more settled, rushing till bed time, hurrying to get dinner done and cooked, rushing through Trader Joes, rushing home from preschool, rushing conversations with B. It's exhausting.

I'm saddened by my lack of giving thanks in the moment. My lack of enjoying my kids right where they are, seeing their beauty. Saddened by the moments I have hurried through and missed moments I shouldn't have. I want to give thanks in each moment, to see beauty, to stop and enjoy. To slow down. Not rush, not hurry. I feel like I'm teaching Liam to rush through life, to not stop and love right there. Although he is much better than I at this practice. I think children are like that. They're slower.

I'm going to practice giving thanks for these beautiful moments. Will you join me?

Liam has been so challenging lately. Kids seem to go in spurts or seasons. Behaviors peek and then die down. The ebb and flow. There are weeks when he is lovely and chatty and happy and then there are times when he is whiny, angry and grumpy and spends far too much time in his room crying. But aren't we all like that? I want to be more patient with him, to love him better. To enjoy this little person. He sure is a complex 4 year old, but that's just why I love him so.

Look for beauty, it's everywhere.
xx

2011-06-01T14:37:00.000-04:00

We've been here celebrating B's graduation. I will post some pics of the kids soon!! Adjusting to life without a view now :)

A long week

2011-05-22T16:49:00.000-04:00

Broken sleep. Teething. Cleaning. Grilled cheese. Vaccines. Fever. Tantrums. Street hockey. Fighting. Cooking dinner. Missing family. Pray. Last exams. Whining. Visitors. Neighbors. Dress shopping. Rain, and lots of it. Tears. Laundry. Diaper explosions. Kissing sweet baby lips. Late nights. Picture drawing.

And to top it all off, a trip down to the Children's Hospital for our sweet baby. The doctor noticed a click in her hip this week at her 6 month appointment (I know she's 6 months already?!) and had her get an xray. The xray showed a minor condition called hip dysplasia. We will meet with the orthopedic surgeon this week and she will most likely have to wear a harness to correct the problem. I really don't know much about it and I have about a billion questions to ask, but right now I'm just trusting and loving my baby. She's such a delightful baby that I think she will adjust quickly and continue to be her sweet self. I will let you all know how she is doing. For now, enjoy her sweet face.

Mmmm...

2011-05-13T15:22:00.000-04:00

Our new fav snack!! Warmed, homemade peanut butter with sprinkles on top and sliced apples. Try it this weekend, you'll love it! Happy weekend!!

Crazies

2011-05-13T15:20:00.000-04:00

Two silly buddies on a nice warm afternoon. Love these two together and they sure love being together.

(I swear I posted these photos yesterday. Weird. They weren't showing up today. One day I will be done with blogger and their weirdness).

A tear

2011-05-05T10:39:00.000-04:00

We scared her because we were all squealing and trying to get her to laugh. A sensitive gal she is :).
She laughs every time she sneezes. Sneezing is a funny thing.

B has one more day of classes, then exams, then he graduates. Onto a new phase and I'm excited!

Baby is done with blogging, must go!!
xo

Grateful

2011-04-27T21:19:00.000-04:00

I've wanted pictures with a baby in the cherry blossom tree for a few years now. Well here's my baby!! Holding Liam in the blossoms didn't seem right last year. These didn't turn out as well as I had imagined (which is most often the case). You can see the branch looks like it is growing out of her head and I cut her hand off in the first one. But, I wanted to share them because I don't care all that much about the imperfection and I love them! I'm going to go out and try some more photos again before all the blossoms blow away.

Lately I've been getting these little glimpses of beauty in my very mundane tasks. It's a gift. Gratefulness in the mundane isn't one of my strong points :) I err more on the side of complain when I have a slight paper cut on my finger. The other day I was watching Liam play and how he talks with his hand and watching him just be while Isla was nursing and I just realized - "I have it so good". I love these little people, I love my normal little life. These moments have happened a few times recently.

My beautiful little girl up in the trees.

Here's to hoping for more gratefulness. Life is beautiful and I don't want to miss it with all my complaining.

My Pretty Baby

2011-04-15T11:28:00.001-04:00

We had an 80 degree day this week. First time in a sundress with toes in the grass. I long for summer all year and when the weather warms and the blossoms sprout, something happens in my heart. Warm weather is good for the soul.

I just got back from the doctor and she gained a whole pound this month. I'm so relieved. I've been doing everything I know how to get this gal to gain. I'm thankful.

Isn't she lovely?? She's such a gift. Our sweet dolly.

(I didn't web size these and they aren't working out so well on here. But I just don't have the time right now. )

The Cutest Goalie

2011-04-09T14:51:00.001-04:00

Maybe you forgot I had another child? Well I didn't forgot. He's the little one that made me a mommy. He's growing like a weed these days, all his pants are becoming floods. He's silly and serious, he loves playing with the big boys on our street and they love playing with him! He bright and funny. He loves the peanut butter jelly song. He's a superhero who still sleeps with his baba. He's 4 and a half, not 4! He loves lions. He adores Gavin. He looks like his daddy. He's strong. He loves being read to. He's a gift to our family. He's also a good goalie - Michael told me. :)

He told me the other day that he wishes he could marry Isla because....she would remind him of me. Sigh.....I think that is the nicest thing he has ever said to me. I shed a little tear when he said it and B looked across the table and smiled at me. My beautiful boy.

Perfectly Imperfect

2011-03-22T21:31:00.000-04:00

When Liam was Isla's age, he slept through the night. He went to bed at a consistent time and woke only to feed and then went straight back to sleep. He cried all day and slept all night. He grew quickly and steadily. Isla is happy all day, she squeals at people she doesn't even know. She wakes up all night to feed. She is tiny and in the second percentile. She screams hysterically for the entire car ride where ever we go. She loves her brother.

I think I thought having another baby would be like having another Liam. Well it isn't. I'm slowly learning and appreciating her for who she is. It feels freeing to accept her and just let her be her. She seems to need to nurse and be held more in the evenings than Liam ever did and that's ok, I've stopped trying to force her to do what Liam did at her age. I don't know why I thought she would be just like Liam. She's Isla. :)

Sometimes I want to just post random thoughts about what I'm thinking right now so in 10 months I can look back and laugh at how fast the time went and how much I stressed over something that was fleeting and ever changing. Maybe then if I ever have another one I will learn from my silliness.

These photos are courtesy of B. I've finally made it into some photos!

I found Liam sleeping in his room one afternoon with these Yoga blocks on him....strange.

I've been so neglectful of my camera and the blog lately. I've been exhausted and stressed about Isla's slow weight gain. Lots on my mind and not so excited about blogging. I want to remember these times though so I'll be back sooner hopefully.

I'm off to bed!! Goodnight!

Belly laugh

2011-03-11T08:29:00.002-05:00

Part the heavens, this is the moment I've been waiting for!! Can i say I love her any more??

(Turn music off on bottom of page to listen)

Spring

2011-02-27T20:20:00.000-05:00

Spring is nearing, I can feel it in the air, the days are getting a bit longer. I thought these photos look "springish" with their pinkness. I can't wait for warmer weather. Just picking Isla up and taking her out without having to bundle her all up will be lovely. I am longing for spring this year. I think Liam is too.

Seriously, I think she might be the cutest thing alive. She really is such a joy, a content little thing. She just fits right into our family, I don't know how we lived without her now. Funny how that happens.

She actually rolled over the other day while I was combing my hair and I screamed, she looked at me and got this pouty lip and cried - I scared her. She's so wiggly, it isn't too surprising that she rolled so early. She did it on her Nana's birthday too.

Enjoy the sweetness. Goodnight!

Nana and Bumpa visit

2011-02-24T21:46:00.001-05:00

Last week my parents came for a visit. It's always fun having them come. It feels like a holiday. No cooking, less child care, lots of shopping, coffee and more fun too of course :) It's always so hard after they leave, feels quiet and empty in the house. Liam is missing them, he just told me today when he was in the bath how much he missed them. Look at his happy face here. Thanks for coming mom and dad, we love you and miss you!

Friends

2011-02-22T15:45:00.004-05:00

Isla's first little friend - Zach. Aren't they too cute?! He's 5 weeks younger than her. We had to lie her on his arm to get him to stop whacking her in the face. It's so fun to have babies with Laurel, no pressure to be a certain kind of mom, she's such a good friend and she loves my kids. Thankful for her.

Isla seems bigger all of a sudden, at least her cheeks do :) Quick little post, not the time to write....I'll be back!

cheeks

2011-02-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

A window

2011-02-11T15:20:00.002-05:00

Hi little mini! Isn't she so cute? Smiling away. A little baby on a big couch.

Here is my view from "playtime in your room". My one hour of peace where Liam plays in his room "quietly" and I nurse Isla. This has been a work in progress and I have resorted to bribing him if he stays in there for the whole hour. He's allowed to come out to use the washroom of course. He's doing surprisingly well.

The house is a mess, as you can see, but I don't care. Instead I'm watching Barefoot Contessa, wishing I had the time to make such lovely food. The truth is I'm lucky if I feed everyone in a day. I actually wish she would bring Jeffrey and come make us dinner. I think we'd get along.

I love this time with just me and Isla and her sweet breath on me. I know she's going to get big quickly and naps will eventually become more normal. Instead of sleep training I'm deliberating life - where will we live next year, how do people sleep train and miss this, what's the difference between mac & cheese from whole foods and the regular store, church, kindergarten, introducing solids, a new pair of jeans, taking up running, my online shopping bag at Anthro, organic foods, breast feeding and repainting my table. Poor B, this is what awaits him. Lack of adult conversation makes me think too much on my own.

See, she's already getting big. I'm trying to make her laugh, she's just about to, I can feel it.

Happy weekend!! Playtime is just about over. xo

For Ava

2011-02-03T10:53:00.000-05:00

Thinking so much of you, your mommy and family today.
Walked by and saw this little bit of pretty in Isla's white room that is somehow very much pink and wanted to share.

What words can you say?
Love to you Sheye, may this day not be so dark, may you find joy and beauty today as you miss.
xo

http://www.sheyerosemeyerphotography.com/blog/2011/02/immeasurable/

Laugh

2011-01-31T19:54:00.001-05:00

Thought I'd make you smile tonight :)

Florida

2011-01-30T17:46:00.001-05:00

I love this first photo of our little niece Bea. She's little and cute and louder than expected :).

I'm missing the sun and warm, we have about a foot of snow here.

Brian has had the month off school, it has been the best timing as I'm adjusting to a new little life in our home. He has to go back this week and I'm so sad about it. It's been fun hanging out together, we've played sequence with Liam about 473 times a day :) . It's made the darkest and coldest month of the year manageable and seem cozy.

Thought this looked just what boys are like. Ready for battle. Liam told me he liked war the other day because "you fight". I swear boys and girls are just wired differently. Wrestling is a favorite pastime of Liam's.

B took Liam to a basketball game tonight, it's just me and my girl tonight! I think we'll get a girl movie and snuggle.

Boxer

2011-01-24T15:49:00.002-05:00

She always looks like she is ready to box.

Last week she changed. She seemed so much bigger than the week before. At 2 months she weighed in at a tiny 9 pounds 1 ounce. Just a little peanut, but she's growing steadily. She smiles quickly and is so bright eyed.

Liam is loving her a lot. He never wants to leave her alone. I'm feeling a little stir crazy, I sure do hate the snow and winter. I'm a warm weather gal at heart.

I'm still in the process of trying to figure out how to save, backup and print photos on a regular basis. Any ideas?? I'd love to hear em. Keep in mind it has to be easy, maybe even automatic?

Just a brief little update on us :) Gotta get Liam out of the tub and baby is nursing, I've been forced into multitasking!!
xo

Faces of Isla

2011-01-13T15:51:00.000-05:00

These were taken in Florida. Isn't she just delicious? She's smiling lots, cooing and just overall lovely. Such a happy little thing. Florida was nice and warm this year, but Liam and I got very sick. He had a few good days near the end of the trip where he was able to swim and play like normal. Thankfully little Isla stayed healthy.

Liam is just walking in the door here, I gotta go!

Kisses

2010-12-18T09:23:00.002-05:00

She's getting bigger and cuter!!! We're just about to travel home and to Florida for the holidays. I'm a little nervous to travel with a 5 weeker. Praying she will not scream or get sick on the plane. It will be nice for family and friends to meet little Isla though. She's such a little doll. Smiling like crazy and starting to coo. It's like a reward for all the work we've put in :) I adore it and these two littles.

I'm sure I won't be able to post again till after the holidays. Merry Christmas. Remembering Emmanuel. God with us. How amazing. xo

Sibling love

2010-12-10T18:14:00.000-05:00

The sibling photo from the last post seemed to be a hit. Here's another, I have a ton of the two of them together since Liam won't leave Isla alone for very long, but not the time right now to edit and post. Just about to feed the dolly. She is back to birth weight and even passed it now! Such a huge relief to me.

We've had the best week since she was born.

Here are my two favorite little people.

My Pink One

2010-11-28T10:59:00.000-05:00

I got lots of photos for ya this morning. Sweet baby is sleeping, Liam and Daddy have left for the morning and I am enjoying the quiet. The house is peaceful for a bit. Tomorrow will bring another day though when B has to go back to school and I am alone with both kids for the first whole day since I had her.

First off, I am really not in a place to be taking photos, I can't seem to get a good one of her - I really need Robynn! No postpartum mom should be attempting a photo shoot.

I promised to share a bit of her birth story and I want to write it out so I remember it. She was 12 days late :) I started contractions on Wednesday at 3:00 am, they were about every 10 minutes and then around 7:00 am they stopped. I was very frustrated since I thought I'd have a baby by that afternoon, plus I was exhausted from being up all night. B and I spent Thursday day close to the hospital, went out for lunch, grabbed a Starbucks, talked about baby names while my mom watched Liam for us (thank you mom). Nothing seemed to be happening so we went home. Thursday evening contractions were back. They got more intense and we were at the hospital by 10:00 p.m. I labored in the bed for a while and it was a very intense hard labour because I had been up the whole night before. She was also posterior and so my back labour was crazy. Of course I begged for an epidural but the midwife kept me going. I used a birth tub next where she tuned to the anterior position. I got out of the tub , the midwife broke my water and within 7 minutes she was born. B told me she was a girl and they put her right on me for a long time. The best moment in life I think. Honestly, it feels close to heaven having that baby lay on your chest after you have labored. She was born 7 pounds 6 ounces and is truly perfect.

I've had a tough few weeks of breast feeding difficulties, but I think we have turned a corner finally and she seems to be growing and content. We think she is going to be a good little babe. She sleeps well at night, goes right back to sleep after feeding. She has awake times where she is smiling and happy. She seems to feed all evening long though and I usually fall asleep with her on the couch. I'm in love with all the pink and frills, my friend said I've been waiting for this since I was 4 and she's right. I've always wanted a pink one :)

Here she is in her 2nd week of life:

See, she is smiling. I know you didn't believe me, but she is! This is for you mom!

The strangle hold. She puts up with a lot of love :)

Liam adores her - he really is so gentle and loving with her.

This is how she always has her feet, so glad I got a photo of it before it's gone. Remnants of the womb.

Isla girl

2010-11-16T21:51:00.001-05:00

Short on words tonight, but here are some photos of our lovely girl. She is perfect.

I will share more about the birth later, but it was better than I could have imagined, a beautiful night. Here is our little dolly. Enjoy, I will post more soon, but life is a bit crazy right now and I'm just trying to do the most essential stuff. Thanks for all the love. xo

Looking like her Daddy here.

Batman

2010-11-02T10:49:00.000-04:00

Here he is slaying the villains. Halloween might just be Liam's favorite holiday right now. If you know Liam he is the dress up king. I think he wears a costume every day at some point during the day, often first thing in the morning before I've even gotten out of bed he is standing there beside me as Superman. I love it. He decided to be batman this year, he tells me next year it's Spiderman.

Here he is with his buddy Buzz.

And on a completely different note., the Christmas Starbucks cups are back! I love them dearly. I grabbed one this morning after taking Liam to school and was very excited to see them, even if it does seem a bit early to think about Christmas. I was feeling grumpy about this baby being late and was easily cheered up by such a small thing. I'm off to enjoy one of my last mornings alone for a while with this lovely. xo

Good Morning Lovely

2010-10-26T11:35:00.000-04:00

Milk crusted on the chin. Love this shot him.

Baby is due in less than a week. I can't wait to meet this little person, however I don't remember feeling such an emotional roller coaster with Liam as I do this time. Everything that is normally simple and easy feels hard. Making dinner, getting dressed, vacuuming, playing on the floor with Liam, and even sleeping have become difficult tasks. I hate feeling incapable. I know it comes with being 39 weeks pregnant though and I am truly grateful for this little life moving and growing within me. It is a privilege despite all the hard things.

I can't wait to announce our newest to you here. Thanks for all the love and prayers.

3:47 p.m

2010-10-15T19:20:00.003-04:00

This is what we do when it's hot and humid and there's not much else to do. Given the weather today, this looks so very lovely. I love these images. I took them near the end September, but that warmth feels long gone now.

I'm just over 2 weeks away from my due date!! I'm terrified to give birth and care for this baby but at the same time, I just can't wait to hold this little one. I'm feeling ok, uncomfortable and tired, but I guess that is to be expected.

Short on words tonight, have a lovely weekend :)

Four

2010-10-02T09:00:00.002-04:00

How are you 4?? When we moved here three years ago, 4 seemed like an impossible place. Like we would never be here. Our last year of daddy at school and you so big.

I love your laugh.
I love your feistiness.
I love the way you talk with your little hand when you really want someone to understand.
I love that you love being with people.
I love that you wear a superhero costume every day.
I love eating hummus together.
I love when you pray.
I love snuggling with you in the morning.
I love that you notice when I dress up.
I love how you bust out dancing in stores to the music
I love how silly you are.
I love that you are so passionate.
I love how fast you ride your bike.
I love how you say "bye little lady" and call me "miss mommy"

I love you I love you I do, my beautiful boy.

A Few From the Party!

2010-09-30T21:11:00.001-04:00

I wish there were more of these. Luckily Laurel has some. Here are just some very happy snaps from the morning. It really was fun!

These were the favours. I call them loot bags, but apparently people don't know what that is here. It was a CD of songs that Liam and I like. I also gave the kids a lollipop.

All sweaty from playing in the climbing place. That's the beloved Gavin in the background.

With his good buddy Jack, our neighbour.

And a sneaky one of him hugging little Evyn.

Inspired

2010-09-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

Some lovely things I've found this week in my search for baby room inspiration.

Found here

I just love that this one looks lived in, like the baby was rocked in the chair that morning, but still so pretty and eclectic.

Found here

I have one of Belle and Boo prints, which was given to me as a gift. I'd love to add another and maybe put them over the crib, but the baby would have to be a girl in order to do that. I'm beginning to understand why people find out the gender :)

Found here

Found here

And this beautiful image which is truly a piece of art.

Found here

And there you have a little inspiration for the weekend! Hope you enjoyed!

Muffin Picnic

2010-09-21T20:43:00.001-04:00

We were having a "muffin picnic" on the grass here. I like the crumbs on his little face.

So I've hit a point of being quite uncomfortable. I'm 34 weeks now. 6 more to go! My back aches, my feet ache, I am constantly tired but I can't sleep. I don't remember feeling like this with Liam. I was lying with Liam tonight when he was falling asleep and my mind was going crazy! I was having such nervousness about who we will have to leave him with to go to the hospital. I feel like I will need him to be happy and settled so that I can do what I need to do to labour for this babe. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I need to? This is when I wish our family lived closer.

I have a few photos to upload of his birthday. For future, I will assign the role of taking photos to someone else. It's impossible to take photos and sing happy birthday with a cake in your hands. It was a lovely relaxed morning and Liam told me he "had the best day of his life". I love his dramatic little self. but really, what else could I want him to say? Can't believe he is just about 4.

Few more

2010-09-14T15:45:00.002-04:00

Some more photos from the cottage:) The little frog catcher. He started preschool this morning - he was so happy to see his little buddy, Gavin. The two are like soul mates, honestly it is adorable. I hope they include other kids in their superhero games. I'm always a little sad when fall comes and the long warm summer days end. I think I am less structured than I ever thought I was, I love having nothing happening and just lazing in the summer with Liam - going to the beach on a whim, sitting on the dock at the cottage. I don't know what I'm going to do when he actually goes to kindergarten, I don't even like looking at a school bus at this time of year. I hate seeing back to school stuff at Target, it makes me shudder. I love spending afternoons swimming with Liam and just about dying from the sweltering heat, even when I'm pregnant. That just tells you I am a summer girl! I guess all things must come to end though?

We've been busy the last little while setting up for the tiny bunny to arrive, I'm 33 weeks now and it feels fast approaching. We've had to reorganize our living room and add more storage for toys and buy some baby stuff. There really is some beautiful baby stuff on etsy. I found this lovely mobile the other day and hoped for a girl.

I'm also having our first ever kid birthday party for Liam this weekend, it's a bit early but Brian usually works on Saturdays. He has this one off though so we're doing it early so he can be there. It makes me nervous to plan these things, not sure how good I am at rounding up a bunch of crazy 4 year olds loaded up on sugar. I'm glad B will be there. :)

Another thing I am attempting to accomplish is making a photo book for Liam. Embarrassingly, I have very few photos printed of Liam's life and I want some. He loves looking through photos and I have completely failed here. I want to get it done before the little arrives so the pressure is on. Will you hold me to it??

And lastly I found the most beautiful song about a mom and her child. I cried when I listened to it. I wasn't able to add it to my playlist but if you want to google it, her name is Frances England and the song is called You & Me. If your a mom, you'll love it.

2010-09-08T14:33:00.000-04:00

I'm almost embarrassed about how long it has been since I last posted on here. Over a month?! I didn't even know. We were away for 3 weeks without a computer. I felt like I went on a hiatus with photos, I really haven't taken very many in the last month. Here are a few of my little fisherman.

I hope to be posting more frequently again. Now that were back into real life.

As promised

2010-07-30T09:24:00.000-04:00

More from the other night. Love this one because he is dying of laughter. I had tried to convince him to take off those darn crocs but he had a cut on his foot that needed the coverage.

He finally took em off.

Sweaty and silly.

Love him. xo

Fly Little One

2010-07-28T16:12:00.000-04:00

He will soar one day, to be sure. I'm treasuring these last days with just him. Not that I'm sad to add another little person to our family, quite the opposite actually. I'm just realizing that our little thing we have together will change. I think it will become better and even more love will come for this new little person, but it's been me and him for almost 4 years. He was with me on those first long days in Philadelphia when I thought I would suffocate from loneliness and homesickness. He was my little buddy, my companion who never stopped talking. I love who is and how he is growing, such a thinker, so feisty and fiery, but also gentle, sweet and kind. I'm so curious to know how this love will grow to another person, it feels like I couldn't possibly love another child like this one.

Him and I went out last night and took some photos for a wall in his room. We had so much fun together that even if I got nothing, I'd do it all over again. I shot just for me, lots of haze and flare and silliness. It was probably the best time we'd ever had taking pictures. I have a ton to post, but not the time. I will be back.
xx

Beach Day

2010-07-14T20:50:00.001-04:00

We went on a unexpected trip to the beach the other weekend. It was about 100 degrees and the ocean was the best place to be, we were just lacking in a bit of shade. Liam adored the beach and kept thanking me for taking him, he said he "really liked this beach" as though he had been to many others before :) .He's at the perfect age to play and dig and jump over waves and of course squeal with delight. It's so beautiful to watch him play there, something right about it. I'm thankful to have to ocean so close by.

I also thought I would share that I am finally attempting to save in order to upgrade my camera. This may take many birthdays, but I think it is important enough and I am attempting to do it little by little. I have had this beginner camera for a few years now (hard to believe) and think it is time to make a switch. If you were ever thinking you wanted some family photos done and were willing to allow me to practice for a small fee or donation, than now is the time!

Thanks :)

Little shoot in Toronto

2010-07-06T10:06:00.003-04:00

So fun to be back home hanging out with old friends. Loved practicing on this beautiful family. I had in mind lots of pretty light and a field, but the weather just wouldn't cooperate for us. The photos turned out gorgeous anyways, how could they not??
Avery was so much fun to hang out with and get to know. I love her feisty little self. Doesn't the third one remind you of The Little Mermaid? And check out those baby blues on the little Callum man.
Thanks for letting me spend time with you guys and get a little practice :)

California

2010-06-25T21:46:00.004-04:00

It's hard to describe a trip to others. You're in a totally different world, new things to see, new people, new place, new food. I fell in love with California. It was amazing to have 6 whole days alone with B. Despite the jet-lag and waking at 5:00 in the morning the first few days, we both felt very relaxed and came home feeling rested. It was so nice to just be able to have conversations without being interrupted. One morning we walked down the beach about a mile and conveniently ended up at a Starbucks, we went to Santa Monica, ate tons of Mexican, swam in the ocean, B took a surf lesson, shopped, ate far to many Pinkberry's - it was lovely. Laguna Beach is one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited. I think I left part of my heart there. I hope we can go back again sometime with Liam.

I also met Sheye while I was there. The opportunity to meet her was why we choose to go to Laguna rather than somewhere else. Her photography and writing inspired me since I first came across it a few years ago. She is one of the main reasons I started taking photos and also why I have kept at it. She's been such a encouragement to me. The night before I was supposed to meet her I got terribly nervous and even wanted to back out. B wouldn't let me. I was worried that who she was over e-mail and the internet may not be who she was in person. I couldn't imagine spending the whole day with someone I didn't enjoy and mostly how disappointed I would be. I was definitely wrong. She was even more lovely in person than on the internet. We spent the morning talking about photography, kids, family, life and in the afternoon she did a bit of shooting with me (despite my nervousness to shoot in front of her and her friend). She truly is a beautiful soul and one who I hope I will have the opportunity to see again.

Here are some photos of Sheye's stunning friend and our subject that we practiced on.

These two were taken and edited by Sheye

Just one more before we leave...

2010-06-03T21:22:00.003-04:00

....because he is so darn cute.

Just tricking Mama, you can take a picture.

Serious and Blue

2010-06-02T15:50:00.002-04:00

This is what you look like after a Batman popsicle. The ice cream truck is Liam's most favorite thing!

Strawberry

2010-06-01T17:17:00.002-04:00

Every year we go strawberry picking. This year I think we may have picked the hottest day of the summer. Being pregnant and strawberry picking through mud was..... interesting. However, more than I enjoy picking, I enjoy eating them. I think I've said about 23 times today that it is a different fruit than the strawberries you get from the store. I LOVE them. I also love freezer jam because it is relatively easy and extremely delicious. I could eat it by the spoonful.

I've started to feel the baby move lately, which is fun. Just little flutters of loveliness. I can't wait to feel more.
My time here is up!
xx

2010-05-15T15:26:00.003-04:00

I think I may be becoming the lamest blogger around. This week has been just full of too much stuff. Brian has been at school almost constantly studying for exams. Which means that I have been the sole entertainment coordinator for our boy. This week we were also concerned about our little babe as we were told that there may have been a small cystic like area on the placenta. I, of course, was worried and anxious and could barely do anything productive. I don't think googling every possible scenario is productive or helpful for the record :). I had my ultrasound on Friday to check it all out and the tech told me she couldn't see any type of cyst on the placenta in the last ultrasounds or these. I think that the perinatologist was confused. Whatever it was, I'm thankful. Baby is beautiful and I think I may have already fallen in love with this little one growing inside me. The tech explained everything she was doing and every little part of the peanut. It was truly beautiful. God really does knit us together in a dark secret place. All his doing.

On another note, I've been contemplating this gorgeous dress. The problem is, I won't be able to wear till next summer. But I did try it on and I did LOVE it. It's just my type.

And for the one and only picture I have taken this week. A little sunshine in my day when this lovely arrives. It's the only catalogue I keep and I sure do get a lot of catalogues. I think someone signed me up for some secret catalogue list because they come far too much.

Monday Monday

2010-05-03T10:00:00.005-04:00

We woke up last night to our little friend puking and feverish. Poor babe. Now the week has begun, it's Brian's last week of classes which means he has a ton of work to do and I am here caring for an unhappy little bunny eating freezies (or freeze pops as the Americans call them). I'm trying to have a good attitude about our week beginning this way. Thankful that I normally have a very healthy, active and happy boy.

On another note, I am feeling a whole lot better, the morning sickness has eased up. I'm still not 100% in the evenings, but I'm much much better. That alone is a reason to be thankful.

B and I also booked flights to California for June where I will get to meet my most favorite photographer and beautiful friend, Sheye! She is willing to work with me and help me with photography for a day! I am already extremely excited and nervous.

I think that's all I got for now. Happy Monday!

My Delight

2010-04-22T11:15:00.008-04:00

My dear boy, first thing in the morning all ready for the day. Ready to play "superheros" with his buddy Gavin at school. These are his choice shoes right now. It is sure to change again, for the majority of the winter he wore rain boots. He told me he runs fast in these. Fair enough. We've had issues with shoes since the day he was born I think. Seems we are finally turning a corner on the shoe issues, and for that I am thankful!

Bloom

2010-04-18T20:30:00.003-04:00

Every year, the more I love spring. As we were driving back from Toronto after Easter, the grass was getting greener and the blossoms were coming out. It was beautiful. Since I haven't been feeling so well, I've been taking this blanket out under the tree and lying there hoping Liam will play on the trampoline by himself. He doesn't really for too long and ends up coming to lie with me and ask me about 107 questions within 3 minutes. The light was so pretty under there I was actually motivated to get my camera and take some pics which has been hard for me lately. Maybe this is a sign of getting better? Anyways, I've been thinking that spring is like a beautiful party that every year amazes me with its beauty. I think I forget what it looks like with flowers and green during the winter.I don't know how I'm ever okay with living with dead trees and no green when spring comes? I'm thankful summer is on its way.

I was amazed at all the beautiful comments and congrats people sent my way. Thank you so much! Last week we had a little scare, the midwife tried to hear the babe's heartbeat for the first time and couldn't, so she sent me for an ultrasound the next day. Everything turned out great and it was so so amazing to see that little one squirming around inside me and hear the heartbeat. Thankful for this little life.

Guess What?!

2010-04-11T18:19:00.005-04:00

Here's my reason for being so lazy lately with blogging! And a good reason I think :) I've been sick and in bed by 8 most nights. Well maybe not 8, but often while I'm putting Liam asleep, I fall asleep too. I'm about 11 weeks and ready for this sickness to end. Although, I know it's a good thing and am thankful for it this time because I did not get sick or even feel pregnant at all when I had a miscarriage. The due date is actually Halloween, which was my due date as a baby. I was thinking the other day and this babe's due date is exactly when I had a miscarriage. Makes me smile to think about it. What a little gift this one will be. I can't wait to hold them in my arms.

I hope to be back to photo taking and blogging soon.

My dream camera

2010-03-27T10:01:00.004-04:00

I have been so very lazy, I know. Don't worry, I haven't given up on blogging. I had a whole post all ready and lost all my summery pictures from last week. I will be back to post them though.

I just wanted to share about this great giveaway for all you photographers. I have never heard of anyone giving away a camera!

Good luck! Here's one from last summer.

I'm a bit behind

2010-03-14T16:55:00.005-04:00

Well hello there!

I know I have been a bit lacking in posting here recently. A few things have caused me to slow down and take a break from the computer. For one, our computer and phone were down for a few days. We also had visitors and were away for a weekend. And.....the most terrifying thing that happened was Liam and I were in quite a bad car accident. A lady ran a red light and hit us. Thankfully she did not hit us from the side, but managed to hit the front of our car. Praise God that we are are ok. Our car on the other hand is not so good and we'll need to get a new one. But, really it doesn't matter and I just could not be more thankful for my boy after this happened. He was so brave and we even got to ride in an ambulance after. I just kept breathing him in, holding him, and thanking God for his life. It could have been so very different.

I had been meaning to share a funny story about our Liam love before this happened, more for my own sake than anything. I wanted to remember. I was on the computer and Brian was in Liam's room talking to him about some issue and all of a sudden I hear Liam screaming about how he doesn't want to live here anymore and he was leaving. Umm where did this idea come from??Next thing I saw was a streaking 3 year on his way out with nothing but a backpack and socks on. I went to him and found that the backpack was empty, not even the beloved baba had been packed. I asked him what he was going to do alone and naked on the road and who would take him in. He told me he knew Nana would take him in. Which is true.....

In the moment it actually wasn't that funny, but as I told my mom about it later it became so funny, we were dying laughing on the phone. What a persistent little love I have. Praying that that persistence will be channelled to good things in the future.

He bought this shirt with money that my aunt had given him for Christmas. He's so proud!

And this is such a beautiful blog I found, wanted to share it with you. Go get some kleenex and a cup of coffee before you read it. Enjoy :)

Canadian Fun!

2010-02-28T20:06:00.005-05:00

With all the Olympic excitement, we were inspired to take our aspiring Olympian out for his first skate. He liked it till he fell and then he was done! I think he thought that he would be able to skate like the Olympians on TV. He did amazing! He skated around with us and this little push thing. What happened to just pushing chairs around? That's how I remember learning to skate.

Lots of fun and we will do it again soon!

Real Life

2010-02-23T11:11:00.007-05:00

We have had a tough few weeks. Runny noses, puking, sore throats, tantrums, whining, anger and exhaustion have been more present than I'd like to admit lately. Add 2 feet of snow and you can guess how I have been feeling. Trapped comes to mind. It seems that there are stages with children that are difficult and then as soon as you are about to call it quits, they change and you've entered a stage that you never want to leave. One that is complete with "Mommy, I love you so much I can't even believe your my mommy". However, we've left the season of I love you's and replaced it with the earlier mentioned behaviors (including myself in the list list).

I saw these picture as I was looking through photos trying to come up with some for a picture wall I am working on. It captured how I felt. Small and lost. I was about to include "alone" in that list, but then remembered that that is far from true. Not only do I have a God who is walking right with me through hard days (even if I don't feel like he is), I have a husband who loves me and encourages me. A mom who listens to me and understands how long the days can be. Friends who don't judge, but love me and love my little stinker. Friends who are even willing to look after him for me. Really, I have it so very good. The ordinary days are truly the best ones. Read this quote the other day and felt inspired by it.

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."

Then this morning, I listened to this message and my heart was encouraged after too many days days of feeling discouraged.

Anyways, here is the real me, just thought I would share what has been on my heart this morning. The good days and the bad. Real Life. Hope it encourages you readers, whoever you are :)

Favorite Little People

2010-02-15T19:34:00.004-05:00

Liam was invited to one his favorite little friend's birthday party the other day. It was at a bounce place and when we got there, he just ran in and screamed with delight. This is seriously two of the only pictures I got that is not blurry. They never stayed still.

If you know me, you know the light is not ideal. But, wanted to remember these funny little faces.

Baking in the snow

2010-02-10T12:01:00.004-05:00

I made these yummy apple muffins this morning. We are all snowed in. As much as I hate to admit it, it is pretty outside. But, I'm sick of winter. I'm feeling a bit antsy and so I decided to bake and take picture of my baking.

Here is the recipe. These are my mom's recipe, passed along to me. Enjoy!

1/4 C butter

3/4 C sugar

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 egg, slightly beaten

1 C flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1 1/2 C chopped apple

1 Tbsp cream

Cream butter and sugar. Add vanilla and egg (slightly beaten). Mix the dry ingredients together and add to butter/sugar mixture. Stir till moistened. Add apple and cream, mix with spoon just till apples are mixed in.

Cook at 350 for 20-25 min.

I think the trick with these is not to over mix them.

Thanks mom for the yummy recipe.

Sparkle

2010-02-07T16:19:00.004-05:00

B and I were talking last night about how much I love shooting into the light. I am obsessed with backlight and flare. I actually find it somewhat boring to not shoot into the light and of course this little obsession drives me to want to live in a warm climate all year around where there is lots of light instead of lots of snow. Any job prospects in Florida or California for B??? I'm all ears!! I really think that this is what inspired me to start taking photos in the first place. It was the first thing I wanted to know how to accomplish when I got my camera. Even before I was taking photos I was always talking about how much I loved the the late afternoon light at the cottage. I love the sparkle of it.

I took this photo the day before we got 2 feet of snow. Maybe I will post some of those pics soon. But for now, let's just admire the hope of spring and the pretty rainbow in this one photo of my boy.

Ava

2010-02-05T10:55:00.003-05:00

Ava Rosemeyer.

Loved. Remembered. Cherished.

August 22, 2003-February 5, 2007

Wishing

2010-01-29T14:08:00.005-05:00

My lovely sister in law, Robynn gave me this necklace as a little reminder of our babe that left us before we even met. I love it just because it's for me. A little reminder of the life that was once there. In some way it is easy to forget and just move on, but I want to remember. I want people to ask me how I'm feeling about it and this necklace helps people to do that. Time has a way of lessening the hurts, which is good and necessary. But I still have moments where I remember what was supposed to be and how we would have been planning our trip home for the summer, but aren't.

Thank you Robynn for helping me to remember.

Good morning

2010-01-27T13:57:00.002-05:00

How I love my morning coffee. More of my favorite things to come.

My lovely

2010-01-25T15:31:00.003-05:00

Here he is in all his loveliness. This was taken right after nursery school, before we had lunch - most likely hummus and pretzels with apples. One of his go to lunches. When we were driving home from school, I turned around and looked at his face and asked him if I could take his picture when we got home because he just looked so very beautiful. And here it is. I knew that the moment was precious and fleeting, that one day I will look back on these times and long for them. PIcking him up from nursery school, talking about what he did, making him some lunch, putting him for a nap, tidying up - all the normal things of our day which right now seem so dull and monotonous will one day be far away and I know I will miss all of it.

I love having this blog to document some of these moments. I already love looking back even a year ago and seeing what he was doing, a glimpse into our life. Well, the moment is calling, spiderman is needing some attention.

2010-01-15T21:15:00.004-05:00

Thought I would share this one from this afternoon. I have lots more to go through that we took using the self timer.

Will share them soon.

Have a great weekend!

I Heart Faces

2010-01-12T08:35:00.005-05:00

I am posting this photo again for the "I Heart Faces" contest. This is possibly my favorite image this year of my boy. Love the light and the joy - but you already know that!

New Year

2010-01-05T16:40:00.004-05:00

I'm not a big fan of making grand promises and goals, and then not keeping them. That's why in the past I haven't made New Years resolutions, they just make me discouraged. All through the year I want to eat healthier, work out more, exercise grace and forgiveness better, read more, post more photos, ask more questions etc etc. Not just on January 1st or even the month of January.

I'm glad that these things are not what saves me. I would fail.

I'd love to be able to do a photo a day challenge. Maybe I will attempt that, but I can't promise. I'm already 5 days late :) I'd also like to cook more and photograph my meals. I really do love cooking, I whipped up a vegetarian lasagna this morning while Liam was at nursery school. It was a ton of work, but I enjoyed it.

Here are some more photos from our holiday. It really was lovely and I always take it for granted when I am there, and then come home and wish I had truly enjoyed it this year.

In the words of my boy: "Prepare Yourself", there are quite a lot of photos to be shared.

To begin, a Christmas photo which I should have shared a month ago. Followed by cookie baking before our travels.

Liam's favorite part of Christmas with my family was Kim's dog. He told me this yesterday.

Florida begins

Does anyone else take pictures of their child crying?

I look forward to what this year will bring. It's always somewhat exciting to imagine what the year will hold. Surely there will be some difficult stuff but also lots of good.

Little Blu

2010-01-03T16:18:00.005-05:00

We're back from our holidays.

This one caught my eye, little Bea Blu - Liam's cousin.

I love taking photos of girls :)

I will be back with more soon :)

As promised

2009-12-17T15:48:00.003-05:00

I know you are all on the edge of your seat for these....

Liam loved the cows. He wasn't at all afraid, although the cows were afraid of him! At least the baby ones were. I love wild animals, but maybe these aren't "wild".

Anyways this was fun!!

This last one is my favorite. Look at the way that cow is looking at Liam.

I love that I can document and remember all these funny things we did and what Liam was like. I was looking back at my blog the other day and how Liam has grown and changed along with my photos :). I already barely remember some of the stuff that he used to do and funny little things about him. I'm so thankful I have it forever saved on here.

Flare and ramblings

2009-12-11T19:23:00.004-05:00

I know I promised cow pics, but I took this the other day and instantly loved it! There is something about flare that I love so very very much. It always makes me happy and has such a dreamlike quality to it that I adore. Flare is actually how I was first drawn to photography and as soon as I got my camera I was trying to figure out how to achieve it. I definitely haven't arrived in capturing flare and am still trying to figure out how to get it to look pretty and magical. There are so many different types of flare that you can use too, and it often depends on the lens, your position and time of day. And there's your photography lesson for today :)

The other day the man who was speaking at our church was talking about how an artist doesn't use white paint, but adds the other colors to the white paper to create a picture. The white is already on the paper so he doesn't need white paint. While he was talking I was thinking about using light in photography and how it is kind of like my white paper. It's my base. Everything else creates the picture, but without pretty light, well the image just stinks.

Then I was thinking - isn't this just the way it is with God. You can have everything that makes your picture (or your life) look wonderful, but without the light (or the Lord), it stinks.

I'm drawn to the light, it's beauty. It brings me joy.

Late Afternoon

2009-12-04T18:23:00.003-05:00

I always find this time of time the hardest. Liam wakes up from his nap and can be grumpy or happy, depends on the day. I usually haven't planned anything for us to do because I have to start dinner and there isn't enough time to go anywhere. I'm not a terribly scheduled mom and prefer a little variation, and so each day differs as to what we do. Liam helps me cook, we do play dough, watch a movie, play outside, jump on the trampoline, talk to someone on Skype or do some photos :) The last being my personal fav, but not always my subjects :) Today proved to be one of those afternoons when he was up for some photos. Isn't he just beautiful? I think so. In these moments I sometimes feel like the rest of the day seems like a huge vacant space and it can be so lonely and discouraging. I struggle in these moments to be thankful and really enjoy my time with this little person. I want to. I am learning that it is a process, just enjoying the moment and choosing thankfulness.

Yesterday afternoon Laurel and I drove out to a dairy farm to experience some cows. I think I was in love with the cows. I always did want one when I was a kid. I'll be back with some more photos of the cows.

30!

2009-12-01T13:58:00.003-05:00

Happy birthday to you my Love!!

Baby Evyn

2009-11-27T11:58:00.002-05:00

I know, I have been neglecting my blog. My motivation is lacking. I have found it hard to take pictures lately and the weather has been colder and it gets dark so early these days. But I did go out to a park with my good friend Laurel and took some shots of this pretty little lady.

And these crazy boys!

Thanks again for all the love you have shown to us. We really do feel loved!!

Thank you

2009-11-11T14:58:00.004-05:00

First of all, thank you for all the kind words. I received so many e-mails cards, calls and facebook messages. I can't even begin to thank you all for loving me through this. People warned me of all these terrible things people might say, but I have yet to experience that. I have such beautiful people in my life.

Life has become a sort of new normal. More thankful, I hope, for the people I have near me right now. I guess now we are just trying to navigate through this new idea of grief and thinking about what the future holds. Tears still flow quite easily when something triggers some thought of what should have of could have been. There are better days than others. Songs seem to make me cry so I put a happy song on here.

Isn't this picture joyful?? I love it, think I might frame it. I am in love with backlight and this little person, of course.

Thank you

What to say?

2009-11-02T19:01:00.009-05:00

I've been agonizing over what to write for a while now. I think I've realized that I just want to and in some way need to be honest in order to move forward. It's part of my story, part of my journey now, part of who I am and how I have been changed. No need to hide and just put up cute pics of sweet Liam.

Most of you don't know, but I was about 7 weeks pregnant and last Tuesday night we began to lose our little unborn babe. It's hard to describe what it feels like to have life growing within you and then all of a sudden it's gone. I now feel exhausted and weak both physically and emotionally, but at the same time some measure of peace is in my heart. When we found out I was pregnant, we were thrilled that the timing had worked out so perfectly - having a baby in the summer meant that we would be able to give birth in Canada, which we thought would be easiest in many ways. It seems tragic, but already I have learned so many things and seen God provide for us in ways that I never thought possible when we first moved here. Our friends here have loved us, cared for Liam, provided us meals, cried with me and showed me that the Lord sits and cries with me too. Jesus is near, he is close to the broken hearted and now I know that firsthand.

I do wish that I never had to go through this. I wish that I could have given birth to a new healthy baby in the summer and held that little one in my arms and smelled their baby smell. I hoped for a sibling for Liam. But the truth is life is not mine, the Lord who began this life within me knew that it would not be a long life. "You saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them." Life is truly so fragile and such a gift.

Liam has told me numerous times that he "will take care of me and keep me safe" and that he "promises God will give us another baby". This has been tough on him too, he tells me often that he is sad about it. He waited up till midnight for me when went to the hospital worried about the baby. He is such a sensitive little soul. I'm not sure how I would have gone through this week without my little boy to hold and snuggle.

My heart aches inside knowing that there was life growing inside me and its gone. A lady at the park yesterday asked me if I wanted more children. I sat for a while thinking about how to answer her. I'm just trying to figure out how to keep going, as the days don't stop and dinner needs to be made, houses need to be cleaned and people need to be cared for. My dependence on God has grown in the last week because I would wake up in the morning and not know how to get through the day. I pray this dependence continues.

My comfort and my hope is in the Lord. Choosing to worship Him when I don't feel like it, when my heart is breaking. Holding on to who I know God is. A good God, merciful and kind, who gave me Jesus, his own son.

"In the day of trouble I call upon you, for you answer me."

Dana

I wanted to share this song. I just keep playing it and remember God's kindness. Can't put it on my playlist for some reason.

To Infinity!! And Beyond!!

2009-10-20T19:47:00.001-04:00

This is pretty much what he loves most these days. Flying Buzz around.

Short on words today. But here is a moment in our day.

He did it!!

2009-10-18T17:20:00.002-04:00

We're out of diapers!!! I'm thrilled. Liam is currently running faster now.

I was a bit terrified this would never happen as he had a severe reaction to anything to do with potty training, but Brian helped, we prayed and he actually wanted to.

Here is the little stinker giving some attitude.

October 2, 2009

2009-10-11T15:54:00.003-04:00

My boy has turned 3, I'm not sure how this has happened but it has. I meant to blog on his birthday or even before so that I could set the blog to post on his birthday, but I did not. We drove to Toronto for the weekend. I'm so glad we did! Had a party with my parents and other family then headed to Great Wolf Lodge, which is about the most fun place ever for kids. We also got to visit out brand new niece who was born on Liam's birthday!! I love newborns.

Our drive home was the best one we have ever had. It felt like a date for B and I, we got lattes and chatted for hours!! Liam slept for over 3 hours in the car!! I think we should make visits to Great Wolf Lodge more often.

Anyways, to my sweet boy who is growing far to fast. I love you more than I thought possible.

You are such a joy to us; so beautiful, clever, funny, sweet and bright. I'm so thankful for you, God put you in our family at the most perfect time.

You are so very loved!!

Isn't this a great cake?? I'm not sure who made it.

Caught pushing their cousin....while the girls look as sweet as can be.

"Blue" Photo Challenge

2009-09-29T10:13:00.010-04:00

I♥ this little mischievous face. :) How can he be 3 this week?! My brown eyed boy, I always thought I would have a blue eyed child. But I love those brown eyes, just like his daddy.

This is the first photo challenge I have ever entered. Found out about it through the lovely Sheye. Check out the weekly contest here is you like.

These photo challenges make me think more creatively and it pushes me beyond my normal shooting ideas. Love that!

Superhero

2009-09-27T15:19:00.003-04:00

A new superhero stage has emerged. One, where most days he is in costume (although there is almost always a complaint and an "it doesn't fit" aspect to it as well).

I love it, love it. Love the imagination and the questions...."Mommy, can spiderman fly?", "Does buzz jump?". I have been named Cat Woman and Little bo Peep. I wish I could look like cat woman in that black outfit!

Dana

Buddy

2009-09-24T14:25:00.002-04:00

These guys are some of our dear friends here. Liam goes to nursery school with Sammy and I'm glad we ended up putting them in the same one. Whenever we ask Liam what he did in school he says, "Played with Sammy". Brian challenged him to find out one other child's name at school this morning. I think they feel safer being together, not that Liam is too afraid of being on his own however.

While the boys were at school this morning, we ladies had planned a little photo shoot which ended after about 3 pictures because I had not recharged my extra camera battery. I have now learned my lesson, glad it was with a friend, sorry Laurel!

Isn't Evyn just lovely?

Sonny

2009-09-20T20:36:00.004-04:00

When we were home, we got to spend a few days with our friends and their little guy, Ezra. I have known Lyncey since I was about 12, but we've become better friends in the last few years. It was so nice to spend some time together at the cottage having "the best swim of our lives" together. Love you guys and love your sweet little "sonny". Thanks for letting me photograph all the cuteness.

Big

2009-09-18T13:55:00.003-04:00

Here is the little one on his first day before nursery school. He LOVED it and so do I :) He was the first guy to do show and tell and brought in 3 things, one being a picture of his cousins (how cute is that?). New "digger" shirt for the first day.

And this is his favorite new past time. Our neighbor's gave us an old bike. Liam has not been seen on the sidewalk without this rusty old thing, I think he could be a cyclist one day with the amount of time he rides. Yesterday he was taking a corner a bit to speedy while watching his friend come home and took a huge fall. I thought that may make him a bit fearful, but he got right back on and drove home.

We're BAAAAck!

2009-09-12T18:57:00.005-04:00

Back to real life, making dinner and cleaning and going to to school and spending ALL day with my small friend with endless "whys". I never seem to adjust too easily (to anything that is) but after a week I think I am ready to start posting a few pics that caught my attention right away.

We had a lovely time at home as usual and we got everyone sick as usual too. Liam loved playing with his cousins and on the deathly long trip home kept saying he didn't want to go back to Philly because they couldn't come with him. I think he devised a plan where everyone had spots to sit, Bea being on Uncle B's lap and Uncle Tad being on mine.

This fall Liam is starting nursery school, which he doesn't seem a bit nervous about, he keeps reassuring me that everything will be fine. My, how the tables have turned.... What happened to that baby who wouldn't let anyone hold him but me?

I have lots of pics to go through and will post some more soon. I'm sure I will have about 1739 pictures of him on his first day to school too.

Hope you like the new music addition too, you can turn it on/off at bottom of page.

And we're gone!

2009-08-05T15:41:00.003-04:00

We're almost packed, stocked with snacks, movies and Curious George on CD. Looking forward to Toronto!

Be back in September

Cousins

2009-08-02T19:20:00.001-04:00

I've been lazy in the picture taking and the blogging. Hope to post more before we leave to come home!

We had visitors......

(not my picture, my sister in law Robynn Munnings)